____tear my heart open; i sew myself shut

Friday, May 13, 2005

130505/ friday

tired. TIRED. bloody hell freaking TIRED of all this shit.

stupid blogger crashed on me. stupid blogger STUPID STUPID blogger. shit them up. pissed. im so tired. emotionally physically and mentally. ahhh whatever. stupid injuries coming and going. when in the world would it EVER stop. sigh. i really really want it to go away. i want to perform. WALAA ipoh, inter-sport school and nationals. i dont want to bloody hell screw it up. sighs. im seriously becoming a workaholic. a loner and nerd and whatever you can call me la. im just mugging my head off to get good grades except in chinese. oh and apprantly stumpy has been reading out blogs. HOW NICE.

am i getting anywhere in the first place? i feel like im not getting what i want. my sense of accomplishment is so little. sigh. maybe im not working the right way. ahh whatever. sighh. training's getting tougher again. and i seem to be getting more injuries. bloody hell. i need freedom. to get out. i feel suffocated and restricted. sighh. sometimes i even think why the hell did i choose sports? i dunno. i dont know what to think anymore.

okay on a happier note. i went back to cf. (: mr mak talked bout sin. yupps. i did ALRIGHT for physics. 24/40 : oh well. made alot of careless mistakes. had 34/40 for chem. think it was pretty good. having 5 pprs next week. sigh. im so tired already. i need to have fun. no fun is coming from anywhere. i want go get out of singapore. sigh. im so fickle minded. i dont know what i want.

maybe its not what I want. but what God wants for me. ahh well. shall leave my life in God's hands. he has plans for me. but i just want it to go away. sigh. im waiting for sunday. it always makes me happier. (:

{ tear my heart open }
11:33 pm